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April 15, 2013 by · Leave a Comment 

Critics, who were unable to get a look at Scary Movie in advance of Friday’s release, dutifully filed into theaters over the weekend and later dashed off their expected pans. Several critics did include a positive comment about the performance of co-star Ashley Tisdale, “whose elastic face,” wrote Andy Webster in the New York Times, “lends itself to numerous reaction shots. (Somebody, give her a sitcom, or at least a better movie.)” Likewise Amy Nicholson in the Los Angeles Times calls her “a game comedian [who] earns our applause through sheer empathy.” Between Scary Movie 4 and this one, nearly seven years have passed — with plenty of scary movies to spoof over those years. But Joe Neumaier in the New York Daily News writes that in Scary Movie 5 “the mere mention of a familiar pop culture figure or title is supposed to be hilarious. It often isn’t, and in fact the constant name-dropping and gross-out humor gets tiresome.” If you haven’t seen any of the previous installments of this franchise, Peter Howell in the Toronto Star explains, “It’s not meant to terrify. It’s supposed to be funny, but you’d have an easier time reading a zombie’s pulse than you would finding a single good laugh in the movie.” It’s a sentiment echoed by Rafer Guzmán in Newsday, who writes that “this fifth installment is so feeble, so grindingly uninspired that it may set a comedy record: 85 minutes without a single laugh.” Actually, the movie does prompt a very funny line from New York Post critic Kyle Smith. “There’s a spoof of Rise of the Planet of the Apes in which gorillas throw their feces at the wall to see if it sticks,” he remarks, “and you can’t help wondering if this is actual documentary footage of the script meetings.” His advice: “If you must go to Scary Movie 5 be sure to bring an iPad with you. That way you can watch a better movie on it.”