JOAN RIVERS’S PLAN FOR HER OWN FUNERAL

Within minutes of daughter Melissa’s announcement that 81-year-old comedienne Joan Rivers had died on Thursday, excerpts from Rivers’s 2012 book, I Hate Everyone … Starting With Me, in which she described the kind of funeral she wished for herself, hit the social media. "I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action. … I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s." How many, if any, of her wishes will be realized will become known on Sunday when her funeral takes place at Temple Emanu-El in New York.